Why a Balanced Forum Makes You a Better Leader

I joined my first business forum over three decades ago. It was the best business and personal decision I’d ever made. After over three decades of forum interaction, I have strong feelings about what works–and what doesn’t–when it comes to a highly functioning peer group.

My observation has been that the best leaders surround themselves with peers who see problems and opportunities differently than they do. But most leaders don’t have the time, energy or skill to create advisory boards so they rely on their executive teams and join forums in groups like Entrepreneurs’ Organization, Young Presidents’ Organization, Vistage, or Strategic Coach.
 

Forum – Peers or Friends?

Most forum groups are positioned as a group of peers––although this is rarely true–– that meet monthly to discuss their most pressing issues. My forums have grappled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows; from selling a business to filing for bankruptcy, from hiring A-players to firing your best friend, from the miracle of birth to the horror of suicide.

When I learned my late wife had brain cancer, my forum members were quick to put me on their shoulders and carry me through the next 20 months of unimaginable decisions and suffering. I was in survival mode, and my forum mates knew it. Their unconditional support was a blessing I will never forget

Looking back, I can now see how fortunate I was to be recruited into two exceptional forums. Most leaders are not so lucky.

When they work well, forums are balanced, objective advisory boards where members feel safe being direct, vulnerable, and open to learning. No topic is out of bounds. These forums can help members see multiple perspectives that they would otherwise be a blindspot.

When a Forum Is Out of Balance

But if you have been in a forum or business advisory group, you probably share common complaints like:
-These are not my people.
-Why am I always giving counsel instead of receiving it?
-My business was dealing with this issue ten years ago.
-Why do we keep talking about the same thing over and over…and over?
-Did I join an advisory group or therapy session?

Unfortunately, many forums devolve into echo chambers or, worse, “I-told-you-so” clubs rooted in competition, shallow conversations, and ego. Worse, we tend to recruit people we like, which leads to a group that is often incapable of offering the diversity of perspectives that can generate meaningful value for its members

Here’s Your Sign

Here are some telltale signs that your forum is out of balance and thus, not pushing you to be the best leader you are capable of becoming.

1. Everyone goes to the same church … or bathroom.

A close friend of mine was recently asked to recruit and moderate a forum group for Christian men. Upon hearing the requirements (read: Christian businessmen), he responded, “You know, it strikes me that Jesus would not qualify for this group.” Narrow membership criteria create blind spots. If your group draws from a single gender, industry, or religion, it is a playground for confirmation bias.

The lesson: seek diversity of thinking.

2. Haven’t we heard this presentation before?

There is an axiom in design thinking: If you keep trying to solve the same problem but can’t fix it, you’re probably working on the wrong problem. The best forums help you see–and believe–that you may be viewing the problem through the wrong lens. 

In my experience, a balanced forum contains at least six types of leaders: the Operator, the Strategist, the Rainmaker, the Visionary, the Tech Futurist, and the Orchestrator. Each of these leaders has P&L responsibilities, which means they can make change happen. More importantly, they each see challenges with radically different interpretations of the problem. 

For example, if you ask a balanced forum why your company is no longer profitable, you may get answers like this:

• The Operator: We need to tighten things up. Let’s punish every line on our balance sheet. 
• The Strategist: We are measuring the wrong things. Let’s measure leading, rather than lagging, indicators. 
• The Rainmaker: We have too much downtime. We need to sell more so our people are busier. 
• The Visionary: We need a new product or service to get higher margins. 
• The Tech Futurist: We need to upgrade our systems. Simple technology changes would make us twice as efficient. 
• The Orchestrator: Our culture avoids conflict. People look the other way when their teams miss their numbers. 

The lesson: If you keep hearing the same problems repeatedly, you probably are in a group with limited ability to see issues differently. 

3. Everyone is a hammer looking for a nail.

Many forums are full of the same type of thinkers. A forum composed primarily of system-thinking Operators will respond to challenges with processes and metrics. However, a forum full of Visionaries responds to challenges with new ideas. True creativity means having a variety (not quantity) of solid ideas to address a particular problem (combined with the ability to pick the right solution at the right time). A balanced forum will naturally and consistently offer alternative perspectives.

The lesson: Most executive teams eventually include a solid operator and visionary. But that isn’t enough to give you a complete perspective about unseen possibilities.  
 

4. You give more value than you get (for years).

Being in a forum is like having a savings account. At each meeting, you make small deposits; you listen, question, empathize, and actively participate. Eventually, you, too, will present on a critical business or personal issue, and your forum will respond by allowing you to take a massive, metaphoric withdrawal, one that, if your forum is good, will contain clear-minded and alternative perspectives.

The lesson: Being with peers means that you share the same values and are dealing with similar issues related to growth and scale of your business.  
 

5. “Daddy won’t let me do it!” Victims can’t innovate.

Nothing is more damaging to a forum than a member who complains about their situation but lacks the authority, will, or courage to create or change.

The lesson: Look for groups in which every member has a creator’s mindset and the power to do something with it.

6. It is a goat rodeo.

Forums are full of leaders who are used to being in charge. They need to be tightly moderated to ensure that everyone is heard, challenged, and gets value. A forum without excellent processes and moderation is doomed to fail. 

The lesson: Poorly moderated groups waste your time and money.

7. Everybody gets along.

Ironically, the most productive forums are full of members who greatly respect one another but don’t always get along. They stick together because they value new insight over new friendships. 

The lesson: If you don’t occasionally get angry or irritated, you are not being challenged by your group.

Does your Forum Challenge You?

When was the last time you saw someone cry in your forum? Perhaps the most important indicator of forum health is vulnerability. When we launch a new Flourish Advisory Board, the first meeting includes a presentation from an expert on the topic of vulnerability. Flourish members who have the courage to admit what is really keeping them up at night and the challenges they are afraid to confront, get–and give–the most value. When I see members overwhelmed with emotion, it means we’re talking about the things that really matter in their lives. The best forums spend their incredibly valuable time on these topics. 

The lesson: The primary job of a moderator and coach is to push the group to have conversations that are so important, they are naturally emotional.

The bottom line: You deserve a balanced group of peers that helps you bust through personal and business plateaus on a regular basis. Flourish Advisory Boards was created to help make this happen. 

Email me to see if Flourish is right for you.